


i had that nightmare again

by ace8013, and_hera



Series: when the radio lights came on [2]
Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Discussion of Episode 100, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon, jack remembers the void, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28364289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ace8013/pseuds/ace8013, https://archiveofourown.org/users/and_hera/pseuds/and_hera
Summary: Lily rolls her eyes, but she nudges his elbow with her own. “Seriously, though,” she says, “you okay after… last night?”Jack sighs. “I think I need to apologize,” he says.“What? You don’t have to apologize for having a nightmare, dude, we all have them-““Not for that,” he interrupts.or, Jack gets his memories back.
Relationships: Sammy Stevens & Jack Wright & Lily Wright, Sammy Stevens & Lily Wright, Sammy Stevens/Jack Wright
Series: when the radio lights came on [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1924438
Kudos: 29





	i had that nightmare again

**Author's Note:**

> hello again we're BACK with ANGST!   
> jsyk, this is adjacent with the fix-it that i, jules, am writing! it isn't the exact same au, just a few inconsistencies, but the idea is there. you can read that [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956505), and even though i haven't updated it in forever it will be updated soon :-)  
> hope you enjoy! fic title from cardinals by the wonder years!

Lily wakes up to someone screaming.

She gropes for her phone in the dark, checking the time. 3:52 in the morning. Lily’s not a light sleeper, so _something_ is happening. She turns on the light at the end of the couch and rubs sleep out of her eyes.

One of the bedrooms down the hallway has a light on. Immediately after she looks, the other bedroom lights up, and a door opens. Lily’s tired, but she knows Jack and Sammy aren’t that short, so Ben’s going to check on them. Not long after, Emily stumbles out of the open door too.

Oh, goddamnit. It has to be Jack. She rolls off the couch and grabs her phone.

Lily stumbles down the hallway and she almost trips over Ben, who's standing in the doorway to Jack and Sammy’s room. The door’s open, and the light’s on. Ben puts a hand on her arm and makes a brief gesture that somehow translates to _Don’t go in there._

Through the open door she can see Jack curled up in a ball in the center of the bed. Sammy’s got his arms wrapped around Jack, rubbing his back. Jack’s face is hidden, but Lily can hear him sobbing into Sammy’s shirt. Sammy looks up at them and shakes his head over Jack.

Lily walks in anyway, because that’s her brother, and no matter how good of a guy Sammy Stevens is, she’s going to help. She sits on the edge of the bed and whispers, “Hey,” reaching out to gently stroke Jack’s back. “What happened?” She mouths at Sammy. He gives her a half shrug and lifts one hand to run through Jack’s hair.

She looks back at the doorway, and Ben and Emily are still standing there. She gets up for a second, and walks over. “We got it, guys,” Lily whispers. “It’ll be fine. Go back to bed.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to,” Ben says, “but okay.”

“Tell us if you need _anything_ ,” Emily says.

Lily nods. “Thanks, guys,” she says, and Emily tugs on Ben’s arm and pulls him back into their bedroom.

She goes and sits back down on the bed, scooting closer this time. Jack is completely out of it, shaking and sobbing quietly. Sammy’s shushing him gently, whispering, “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

Lily reaches out and starts to rub Jack’s back. When he flinches at the contact she whispers, “Hey, it’s just me, Jack, just me, Lily.” Once Jack relaxes into her touch she leans forward to rest her chin on his shoulder blade. “What happened, kid?” She murmurs. “What’s got you all worked up?”

Jack let out a small choked sob. Lily looked up at Sammy over Jack’s shoulder and frowned. Sammy returned her look and turned to kiss the side of Jack’s head.

“Not up to talking?” Lily asked, knowing she probably wouldn’t get a response. Jack just sniffed quietly.

“Maybe in the morning,” Sammy suggests. 

Lily nodded. “We should probably get back to sleep, huh?”

Sammy nods and starts to pull Jack with him into a lying position. Jack goes willingly, starting to wipe at his eyes. Lily leans down to kiss her brother's hair, and as she’s getting up and heading towards the door, Sammy reaches over and turns the lamp on the bedside table off. 

Jack starts thrashing around and shouts, “No! No!”

Sammy flicks the lamp back on as fast as possible and rolls back over to take Jack’s hands in his own. “Jack, Jack!” He whisper-shouts, trying to get Jack to stop moving. Lily’s frozen in the doorway. “Jack, Christ, it- it’s okay! Hey, hey, you’re okay. You’re okay, baby,” Jack finally relaxes and melts into Sammy’s arms. He’d been mostly calm when Sammy had turned the light off, but now Lily can see he’s started crying again.

All Lily can do is stare as Sammy whispers, “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. The lights can stay on tonight.” They stay like that for a few minutes, Sammy softly lulling Jack to sleep, and Lily, rooted where she stands halfway out the door. After a while, Sammy picks his head up and whispers, “Shut the door? You can stay if you want, but, I don’t want the light to bother anyone.”

Lily nods and manages to pick up her feet, heading out into the hallway and closing the door quietly behind her.

* * *

Jack’s already awake when Lily eventually drags herself off the couch. He’s sitting at the table with a cup of coffee, which is out of the ordinary because he usually only has energy drinks in the morning. No one else seems to be up.

“Hey,” Lily says, rubbing her eyes and then cursing under her breath- she forgot to take out her contacts last night, apparently. “You alright, Jack?”

Jack shrugs, and takes a sip of his coffee. He makes a face. “This fucking sucks,” he says quietly.

“I know, right,” Lily replies, and she slides into the chair next to him, grabs the cup from his hands, and takes a sip. “This is why you don’t develop a caffeine addiction, kid.”

“How many times do I have to remind you that we are twins? You don’t have to call me kid.”

Lily rolls her eyes, but she nudges his elbow with her own. “Seriously, though,” she says, “you okay after… last night?”

Jack sighs. “I think I need to apologize,” he says.

“What? You don’t have to apologize for having a nightmare, dude, we all have them-“

“Not for that,” he interrupts. Lily raises an eyebrow. “I mean for like- for the Void. And all the shit I- you know.”

Lily blinks. “I- what?”

“Assuming that what I was seeing last night wasn’t a horrible and _very_ realistic nightmare,” Jack says, “I think I owe you an apology for all the emotional manipulation at the very least.”

Lily grabs his hand. “You’re remembering things?” She asks. “Jack, you- your memories are coming back? I thought you didn’t remember anything from your time in the Void.”

Jack is decidedly not looking at her. “Yeah, me too,” he says. “Until I dreamed about the Void and all four of you walking through there, and I was fucking messing with you the whole time, even though you were trying to _save_ me-“

“Woah, woah, hey,” Lily says, squeezing his hand. “It’s not your fault, you were being possessed by a monster from hell, or whatever the Shadowmaker was-“

“Yeah, but it was still _me_ ,” Jack says. “I still did it, and I still need to apologize. And I need to apologize to Emily, too, because I went after you all but I went after her the worst.” He starts to stand up.

“Jack, we all know it wasn’t your fault,” Lily says, grabbing his arm and pulling him back down to his chair. “No one blames you for what happened, and no one needs you to apologize for whatever that thing made you do.”

Jack shakes his head. He still won’t look at her. “I know that,” he says, “but that doesn’t mean I won’t feel bad about it still.” 

“What I’m saying is you don’t have to- Jack. Jack! Look at me,” Lily says, and she reaches up to touch his face. “No one is upset with you over things that happened while you were fucking- it doesn’t matter, Jack.”

Jack looks at her, finally, and Lily realizes that his hands are shaking. “I’m sorry, though,” he says. “I was so awful in there.”

Lily leans over and puts her arms around his shoulders. “Hey,” she says, “I know it was bad. But you’re going to get better.”

Jack’s shoulders are shaking. “Why am I only remembering this _now_ ,” he says. “Why didn’t I remember this back when you guys dragged me out of there?”

“I don’t know,” Lily says. “but- but it’ll be okay. You’ve got me and Sammy, and Ben and Emily, too. We’ll help if you keep remembering stuff. And no one is mad at you for anything.”

Jack shakes his head. “I was fucking _teasing_ you,” he says. “It was- it was like watching a movie, and I was doing shit and messing with you all, and telling you that you should come with me or I’ll leave you all over again, and telling Sammy that he doesn’t- it was me saying it, but I didn’t have any fucking power over it, it was just what happened.” His breathing gets faster. “I just don’t know what to do, and-“

“Hey, hey,” Lily says, and she rubs his back slowly. “Shh, it’s alright, it’s over. It’s not dark outside anymore either, see?” She nods to the window where the sun is rising. “Deep breaths, Jack.”

Right then, Sammy comes rushing into the room, his side banging into the doorframe. He lets out a breath of relief when he sees them at the table. “Hey, guys,” he says. “Sorry, I didn’t see Jack and I was worried- wait, fuck are you okay?” he practically runs over once he sees them.

He sits on the other side of Jack at the table and puts a hand on his shoulder. “What happened, J?” 

“His nightmare last night wasn’t just a nightmare, Stevens,” Lily says, not letting go of Jack. “He- he remembered the Void.”

“ _Shit_ ,” Sammy mutters. “Like, _remembered_ remembered? What part?”

“When you came to save me,” Jack says. His voice is still hoarse. “In the Void. I remember it all.”

Sammy leans over and hugs him too, putting his arms over Lily’s. “I’m sorry, babe,” he says quietly. “It’s all over now. We’re here with you.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack says into Lily’s shoulder, voice cracking. Lily looks at Sammy over Jack and she doesn’t bother to try and make her expression look anything less than worried.

* * *

The fifth night in a row Lily wakes up in the middle of the night to screaming, she doesn't get up. From what she can tell, neither do Ben and Emily. A light flicks on down the hall almost immediately, and after a few minutes, the apartment is silent again. Lily doesn’t fall back asleep though, and she’s still lying awake on the couch at eight in the morning when Sammy passes by on his way out of the apartment, telling her to keep an eye on Jack when he wakes up. She’s still there when Sammy comes home half an hour later with a night light from the dollar store.

* * *

The eleventh night in a row Lily wakes up in the middle of the night, she wakes up to Jack screaming “ _The One_ ” and she is immediately reminded of how the same thing used to happen to Sammy when they still didn’t even know who the One was. She sees a light come on in Ben and Emily’s room, too. The next morning, Ben says that they might spend the night in Emily’s apartment for a few days. 

* * *

The fifteenth night in a row Lily wakes up in the middle of the night, she tries to go right back to sleep, and fails. She gets a good look at Sammy’s face a few hours later, where a nasty bruise is starting to form around his eye.

“Jack elbowed me,” He says quietly, grabbing a handful of ice out of the freezer. “He didn’t mean to, or anything, I was trying to get him to stop moving, and he got me in the face.”

Lily nods. “He ok?” She whispers back.

“Yeah, he finally fell back asleep just as the sun started to come up.” Sammy says, putting the ice into a plastic bag which he then held up to his face.

Lily nods again and sips her coffee. “That’s good.”

* * *

The nineteenth night in a row Lily wakes up in the middle of the night, she sits up on the couch and sighs. She hears a floorboard creak, and looks up to see Emily walking quietly to the kitchen, her socks muffling her footsteps.

“Just getting a glass of water,” Emily explains, glasses about to slip off her nose. “Don’t worry about me.”

Lily gets up and joins her, grabbing a cup for herself. “It’s been a long few weeks,” she says. 

“I think it will be over soon,” Emily says.

Lily scoffs. “Why’s that?”

“The memories are going backwards in order,” she says. “He keeps getting closer and closer to- to the fifteenth. I don’t know how much there is to have nightmares about before that one, other than nightmares about the dark and empty places. And he had those before this all began.”

Lily yawns. “I don’t know how you’re having coherent thoughts,” she mumbles. “It’s like four in the morning.”

Emily smiles wryly. “I’ve been learning to live with the early hours these past few weeks,” she says. “Might as well make the most of it.”

* * *

The twenty-first night Lily wakes up in the middle of the night, she rolls over again and tries to get back to sleep. Then a few minutes later, she rolls over to find Sammy shaking her shoulder.

“Stevens?” she says groggily. “What-“

“Jack’s asking for you,” Sammy whispers. 

Lily blinks a few times, and then rolls off the couch. She follows him back to their room. As soon as she sits down on the bed, Jack reaches over and hugs her.

“Hey, Jack,” she says. “What was it tonight?”

“When I called you,” he says. And, _oh_. Lily doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to forget that night.

She leans back into their pillows and wraps her arms around him. “I’m here,” she says. “It’s all over and done with. It’s okay.”

Sammy joins them, and at some point, Lily nods off. When she wakes up, the sun is out, Sammy and Jack are still asleep, and she’s pinned underneath Jack, who still has his arms around her.

A few minutes later, Jack wakes up and stretches, and then looks at Lily in surprise. “Good morning,” she says, and he nods in response and yawns.

He taps Sammy’s arm, who rolls over slightly in response. “Going to make breakfast,” Jack says, and Sammy nods and gets up. Lily thinks his eyes are still closed. Jack walks out into the kitchen, Sammy and Lily following.

Ben and Emily are already in the kitchen- Jesus, how late did they sleep?- and Emily is making scrambled eggs while Ben watches. “Morning, guys,” Emily says. “Everything okay?”

Jack sighs. “Morning,” he says. “Last night’s was… it was different.”

“How so?” Ben asks.

“He remembered the last night before we went off the air,” Lily says. “When he called in, and when the Tim fight happened, and when the door opened. All that.”

Jack nods. Emily walks over and gives him a hug.

“I’m sorry, Emily,” he says into her shoulder, and she leans back to give him a look.

“What did we talk about?” she says. “You don’t have to apologize! It wasn’t your fault, Jack.”

“But I was so awful that time,” he says, and his voice gets shaky. “And it was different, too, it wasn’t just like a movie where I had no control, I _remembered_ having thoughts that were my own, but then they were interrupted? It kept going back and forth, and I was saying such _awful_ shit-“

Sammy walks up and puts a hand on Jack’s shoulder, looking a lot more awake now. “Jack,” he starts.

“And you too, Sam,” Jack says before he can continue, “I was so- I kept talking about your fucking insecurities, and I know it wasn’t me saying them, but it was my memories, and I just- how can you all stand to look at me after hearing me like that?”

“Because we love you,” Ben says. And it’s sappy, because Ben is sappy, but Lily can’t help but agree. 

“I’m just glad you’re home,” Sammy says. “That’s all that matters. I know we went through a lot, but you’re here, and we’re alright.”

“Yeah,” Lily says. “And you’ll be able to do good now to make up for it.”

* * *

On the twenty-second night, Lily didn’t wake up in the middle of the night. She wakes up at nine-something in the morning to the quiet noises of people shuffling around the kitchen. She forces herself to stand and head into the kitchen, where Sammy’s fussing around with their shitty waffle iron, while Ben, Emily and Jack sit at the table drinking coffee quietly, checking their phones.

“Hey,” She mumbles, falling into the chair next to Jack. He makes a grunting noise in response. “No nightmares last night? Or have I just become deafened to it,” She says lightheartedly, poking his shoulder.

He gave her a sad smile. “No, I woke up, I was just quiet. Wasn’t too bad.”

“Ah.” Lily nods, reaching over to grab Ben’s mug, who gives her a dirty look, but doesn’t stop her from drinking from it. “What was it about?” She asks.

He shrugs. “Sammy at the doorstep. I remember actually being myself, too. I don’t know. It was different.”

“Well, we all were there,” Ben says slowly. “It wasn’t just Sammy by himself.”

“Unless,” Emily says, “unless he’s remembering- well-“

“He’s probably just remembering it wrong,” Sammy interrupts. “Or maybe he’s just having a normal old nightmare. It could happen. Maybe it’s not a memory at all.”

Jack scrunches his nose. “I don’t know,” he says. “I was upset about something. It was all very hazy. I didn’t want something to happen. I was trying to do something.”

Sammy says, far too casually, “Sounds like a regular nightmare to me.”

Lily glares at him. She sees that Emily and Ben are doing the same. Jack seems to be too preoccupied with the fact that he didn’t stay up all night after his nightmare this time to notice.

“Maybe you ended up doing a good act from the Void anyway,” Lily says. Sammy shoots her a look. “That is, if it’s a memory at all.”

Jack sighs. “Maybe. I just hope they’re starting to die down now. 

“I hope so,” Emily says. “It would make sense for them to, now that you’re past the point of being possessed.”

“And we’ll help if they don’t,” Sammy says.

“Thanks, guys,” Jack whispers.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! come talk to us on twitter @lcvelaces (jules) and @THINKFVST (feep)!


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